In between discussing the computer classes Stacy taught at the Mission, the plans for finally renovating one of the rooms there into a coffee house, and expanded hours for the childcare offerings, they finally teased an answer out of Rene to explain the presence of the baby shower catalogs. Hannah and Xander had only been married since November, but Hannah had been feeling odd too many mornings in a row for it to be simply a bout with the flu. Especially when she was full of energy and rosy-cheeked only an hour or so later. It was too soon to tell yet, and Rene hadn't managed to tease a confession or hint out of her former roommate, but she dearly hoped Hannah was pregnant.
"Isn't it kind of soon? I mean, sure, I've heard about lots of babies born exactly nine months after the wedding night, but..." Stacy shrugged. "If it were me, I'd want to wait a year or two, just to get used to being married."
"Sounds like you've given it a lot of thought," Bekka said with a smirk.
"And you haven't?" Rene challenged. "Fess up -- what have you and Shane decided? How soon can we start planning a baby shower for you two?"
"Well, we did discuss getting a sidecar for his bike -- if we ever needed one." Her cheeks darkened and her hand shook a little bit as she spooned up another helping of the broccoli slaw, belying the casual shrug and tone of her voice. "But yeah, we're thinking we want to enjoy just being a couple before we add on a baby and all that gear and responsibility. I mean, can you see me as a mother?"
"The question," Rene said softly, "is if you can see yourself as a mother. I think Shane would be an incredible father. He's so sweet and wise and thoughtful. A little girl would have him wrapped around her pinky before she could even sit up."
"Yeah," Bekka whispered, eyes glistening before they went dreamy and distant. "I know."
To have a baby, Stacy thought with bitterness that shocked her, she would need to have a father for that baby, first. Despite letting friends at church and work set her up on blind dates, no one who made her want a second try. She had never even considered asking a guy out when the Singles group at church had Sadie Hawkins parties.
Straighten up, you nit, she silently scolded herself. Just because everyone else is getting married, that doesn't mean you should, or that you even need to.The funny thing was, a fragment of last night's dreams flashed into her mind. She had seen herself walking down the aisle at Dinah's wedding, and Drake stepped up when she reached the end of the aisle and offered his arm. She had felt blissfully happy when she looped her arm through his. And when she looked down at her dress, she couldn't tell if it was the dark sapphire tea-length skirts of the bridesmaids dress she and Dinah had chosen when they were twelve years old... or if it was a white satin sheath trimmed in silver lace, with silver lace slippers -- which she had seen in a bridal magazine just a month or so ago.