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Sunday, May 18, 2014

WHEELS, Excerpt #9

ALERT!!
Today is the Cyber Launch Party for WHEELS.
Wanna win a PDF copy of the original script for "MacGyver" that eventually turned into this book?
Hop on over to the Cyber Launch Party blog (www.CyberLaunchParty.blogspot.com), or the Cyber Launch Party Facebook page, and find out how!


"Oh, yeah. Marriage. Freaky concept. I mean, come on, you can barely get a basketball player to commit to a two-year contract without promising him the moon -- and you expect bozos to commit to a lifetime sentence?" Tommy decided he wouldn't use that bridge anymore. It worked for the moment, and he was pleased since he had made it up on the fly, but it didn't get the response he wanted. "No, really, I don't understand marriage. It starts right away with the marriage ceremony. That poor girl ought to be warned right from the beginning -- the honeymoon is over before they even get out of the church. Because no matter how hard she worked to find the perfect guy -- no matter how sure she is that he's the one -- there's always some other guy there called the Best Man."
The laughter got a little louder, but not enough to warrant continuing with the eight more lines on the absurdity of marriage that he had prepared.
"Like I said before, there are a lot of things in life I don't understand. Life just isn't fair." Tommy felt the audience quieting. He waited a few beats to snag their attention a little more, then schooled his face into his most somber, Walter Cronkite expression. "With my luck, Led Zeppelin was right, and there really is a stairway to heaven."
Total silence. He could feel the pressure of all those gazes switch from his face to his wheelchair. Sometimes he lost the audience when he made blatant remarks about his wheelchair and anything relating to physical handicaps. Some people had even grown angry in the past and told him he had no right to make light of his "condition." Tommy always felt that he had more right than anyone.
          Two seconds shy of the "I'm dead" moment, as the pressure of the silence and held breaths grew strong enough to create a tingling on his skin, laughter roared through the room. Tommy pretended amazement, when his first reaction was to sag back in his chair in relief. He tipped his chair back and bent forward, his version of a deep bow, then pivoted while he was still in the shuttle position, and zipped off the stage. He liked working at Chuckles just because they had an actual curtain he could disappear behind when his gig ended.

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